Grief

i looked at you and asked

if this is this what it’s like

to get old

and you said yes

–

–

it’s a crisp mourning

chilled

jagged

seemingly never-ending

it actually feels

as if i am mourning

a death

the death of

something that

had gotten too weary to hold itself up

something with rips and tattered edges

some thing that needed to be

laid to rest

at the expense

of my heart

If i had to say goodbye

(which i did)

as a eulogy

it would probably sound

like

a thank you

thank you for holding me

in the way

only you can

for giving me dreams

even if they look different now

even if the future

I picked out

doesn’t fit me anymore

thank you

for letting me leave the drive-in

every time

thinking

thank God,

I found him.

even if i was wrong

even if i was too scared to ask

how you actually felt

thank you

for letting me experience

the purest joy

the fiercest love

and the biggest fear

of losing you

and although our parting

is difficult

I know I will be okay

the sun will shine

the grass will grow

and so will we

and even though

I want everything good

to come your way

saying good-bye to you

will continue to be

the hardest thing i ever did